Thursday, January 8, 2009

Beetdiggers

Question: What is a beetdigger?
Answer: One who digs beets.
What is a Jordan Beetdigger?
Connor Reese. Go Connor, go Connor.
I attended a swim meet today. Connor set at least 2 personal bests.
He's a Sophomore, so he didn't beat those super-Seniors.
But he is a terrific developing swimmer.
I couldn't recognize him for the life of me.
Who says that our youth have an obesity problem?
All the swimmers were skinny as rails.
I could not tell them apart.
Well, one guy had an eagle's nest on his chest.
Not a tatoo. Hairy Potter, maybe. Or Prince Hairy.
I guess I remember some hairy beasts from high school.
But this guy took me by surprise.
It is really hard to tell swimmers apart when they are all dressed the same.
Or should I say UNdressed the same, har, har.
Plus they wear those headgear things with a big J on the side. (Jordan)
Oh, I know what they are. Shower caps. And they wear goggles.
My seat - lucky me - was under a large horizontal pipe.
The condensation dripped on me non-stop for 2 hours.
But that's all good, I guess. I won't need to shower for two days.
Blake, Bailee and Rissy were there close to me.
"Hey, Connor," I screamed. "You are gonna be blogged."
"Uh, That's not Connor," Blake said.
I quickly redirected. "Hey, Connor, My friend, You are gonna get blobbed."
"I don't think that's Connor," said Bailee.
The sound in that acoustical masterpiece of a swim-gym surpasses the noise in the Rose Bowl.
It was crazy-deafening in there. Crrrazy.
Jodi was at the far end and I didn't catch her before she left.
I was DEEjected. I yelled goodbye to Connor.
"Not him," said Rissy.
My cell phone rang as I crossed the parking lot.
It was Todd. "Dang it, I missed Jodi," I complained.
"Oh, she is just getting the treats for the team. She hasn't left."
I hurried back in with hope renewed. Jodi and Rissy were handing out treats.
I had one. But not without a twinge of fear that one Beetdigger would be left out.
What if it was Connor???
I could envision him standing in a corner with a tragic, distraught expression on his face.
The treat was terrific. Homemade.
One woman looked at them and asked me what they were.
"Rice Crispy squares," I replied. "Only problem is, Jodi doesn't understand 'square'."
They were half-moon shaped. Was I so wrong?? Hmmm?
"Oh, yummie," she said. "I need that recipe. And the half moon shape is so darling."
Out the corner of my eye, I thought the gal gave me a bit of a glare.
I gotta admit that those treats were special. They had chocolate inside.
Connor appeared, looking dapper in his street clothes.
He was ready to face the rest of his day.
"Great job, Connor! You are going to be the star of my blob!"
I think he had water in his ears. He didn't hear me as he went out the door. I go now.

Question: Although this was all based on factual events, vote below if you believe some of it was :
A) Embellished
B) Downright lying
C) Unrestrained daydreaming
D) Criminal offense

I ain't tellin'. Go now.

4 comments:

Redhoodoos said...

This was hilarious, gramps. A criminal offense, maybe, but hilarious. NOT!! Your rundown was surprisingly accurate.

Cabin Fever said...

Okay, I am missin out on WAY to much. First getting to see Connor
and Rissy, and Jod's half moon shaped rice crispy squares with chocolate in em! Don't bother trying to make them at home, they do-not taste as good. She has the touch, and Todd's dutch oven chicken -n- meatballs ...mmmm......

Brian said...

I think it's funny that "truth" was not one of the options. Quit cheering on stranger kids dad!

Anonymous said...

Hey Grampy! Thanks for coming to my meet. I laughed pretty hard about the eagle nested chest.

Connor